What Red Tape??

Changes in the Immigration and Visa laws in France meant in addition to applying for a long-stay visa at the French Consulate in Los Angeles I was also required to submit an additional application, have a medical examination and "interview" at the OFII in Paris upon arrival. Let me tell you, it was very intimidating--a medical examination--seriously? LOL! I expected lots of red tape. A line from Casablanca (1942) kept running through my mind, "They went to Casablanca and waited...and waited...and waited."


In preparation for the appointment, I started brushing up on my French vocab for body parts and phrases one uses when seeing a doctor. I had no idea what sort of examination it would be, but all sorts of stuff came to mind. And with an acronym like the <<OFII>>, it sounded scary, smile (kidding). On a serious note, I had "heard" some horror stories about people having problems because they didn't get the proper amount of documents copied, etc. So, I had a respectable amount of apprehension about reporting to the OFII. 


My letter for the appointment came in the mail printed on official water marked paper with the French flag printed in color. 

Entrance around the corner...

I arrived at the OFII office early as I had an 8:30h appointment. I'd made my copies and extras just in case. I had every single document on the list of necessary items, and a few that were listed online that may or may not be requested. Having an appointment made me feel better--I'd simply get there at my slotted time and shoot through...right.

Who knew!!! LOL, not only had I been given the 8:30h time slot, about 50 or more other foreigners, comme moi, had also been given the same appointment time. HILARIOUS!!! After I got over how funny it was that I thought I'd been given a special time for the interview, it was really quite fun to see the French system at work. I picked up some great vocab while waiting, such as: 

Vous-attendez? 

Are you in line? (Literally) Are you waiting?

A quelle heure c'est ouvert?

What time do they open?

And my favorite no translation necessary:  

Merdre, c'est la ligne!!!???

First, we were all eventually let into the building and our massive line was divided up into small groups, which became smaller lines. After answering a series of questions, we were then moved on to two sections 1st) waiting on the medical exam then 2nd) waiting on the interview.

They processed us like pros--screening us and sending anyone whose only response to questions was a blank stare to a special room. Eventually, they had grouped us and started moving us through.

Thankfully, the aps that I'd downloaded for my son took my mind off of the time. I played a virtual bull-eye game throwing kick-balls at moving targets with my index finger. 


Once my name was called and I finally moved to the medical section, it wasn't long before my name was called again and I moved to yet another line waiting for the exam. It consisted of a chest x-ray, and eye exam, and an interview with a doctor. 

Now, this what I have learned about my French language skills--when people try to help me by speaking in Freng-lish, bits and pieces of both languages--I cannot understand one thing that is being said. In fact, it is better, I've found, when the person just gets on and speaks full out French. 

So, once in the office for the eye test, the eye-guy, LOL, decides he wants to speak Englench or Frenglish. He started off in French, but switched to the mix after I drew a blank when he asked me if I am pregnant (enceinte), which I always mix up with (enseignant), which is a teacher. HAHAHAAH! Was being pregnant part of visa process? Were pregnant women given special passes and moved to the front of the ligne? 

Can I help it if it took me a minute to work it out? He was either asking me if I am a teacher (which, I suppose is ultimately what I will one day do, so I'd have to answer yes yadah yadah, yah...) OR he was asking me if I am pregnant, which would be a big fat NO. Context, context.

In the end he helped me out and made the universal dome shape movement over his mid-section, confirming my guess about the word, and helping me to quickly reply in the negative.

My directions were to go into one of the numbered doors and after locking it behind me, I was to undress to the waist in order to take the x-ray. I moved into a smaller area with three numbered doors...

Which door would I take, 1, 2, or 3. All around this waiting area were condom posters. 

I couldn't quite work out why there would be a bunch of condom posters all over the immigration office, LOL. 

I went into door 2.

Later I met with a very nice doctor, who listened to my heart, took my blood pressure, and handed me a copy of my chest x-ray. In a matter of minutes I had the x-ray in my hand...no zillions of forms to fill out to get it, no weeks to wait to process my request for my ex-ray, no need to drive over to some radiology center across town. I quickly put it in my over-sized bag which now doubles as my shopping bag in a pinch. We chatted about why I am in France and as I walked out the office, he wished me success and commented about how big my purse was. It went something like this: 


Ah, la-la, la-la, la-la! Bonne chance!(And I think he said) C'est dans la poche!


In response, I said the universal response at least from what I've heard here, a one word expression with a thousand meanings: "Voila."


The doctors' comment,"C'est dans la poche," which I took to mean anything could fit in my purse, was more of a double entendre since the expression can mean it will be a success...or it's in the bag. But it was time to move to the next station--no time for my polite, "Repetez-s'il vous plait" to be sure.


Off to another waiting area for the final step. In an office just next to where I sat, I could here some of the questions being asked. They were pretty standard, what's your addresss, how long have you been here, etc. 


When it was my turn I expected the same and I was not disappointed...It was quicker than getting a vaccination and a lot less painful. The OFII allows you to pay for your "stamp" online and print out the receipt. After handing this over, the officer/clerk placed my stamp in my passport and c'est fini! Vive la France!!!